Habuji and Gabuji at it Again!

Navneet Sevak 

then go." "That's not enough. Someone sneaky might still sneak into heaven. Instead, make a law that from now on, pandits will not prepare any funeral pyres. If no pyres made by pandit, then how will they reach heaven?"

L et’s continue the story of Habuji and Gabuji. What  happened in Part 1?

In the bizarre kingdom of Andhernagar, ruled by the foolish King Habuji and his equally silly minister Gabuji, chaos and absurdity were part of daily life. Habuji was so dim-witted that even smart ideas fled at his sight, while Gabuji's presence made common sense dive under the table.

One day, as Habuji slept peacefully in his palace, a mosquito bit his royal nose, sending him into a loud panic. Gabuji, in his attempt to protect the king, stood guard but ended up smacking the king's face instead of the mosquito. Habuji laughed at the blunder but suddenly declared a ridiculous new law: no one may laugh when the king laughs - or face exile!

Meanwhile, in this strange land, wise pandits like Kanaram were being forced to do hard labor whenever a royal died - collecting firewood for funeral pyres - thanks to another foolish law. Tired and frustrated, the pandits gathered at Kanaram's house for help. Kanaram devised a clever plan: all the pandits would pretend to leave on a pilgrimage and confront the king together.

When they arrived at court with pots and ropes, a pot accidentally hit Kanaram on the head, causing the king - and then everyone - to burst into laughter. This, of course, violated the king's own law, and he turned furious. At that tense moment, Kanaram seized the opportunity to speak and made a respectful request: the pandits wanted to go on a long pilgrimage to Kashi.

But just as he was about to explain their "big concern"…we ended the story last week. Here is the concluding part… 

Kanaram said, "If we all go on pilgrimage and meanwhile someone in the royal family or an official's house dies..."

The king said, "Why would anyone die? Today I will make a law - no one will die until the pandits return from the pilgrimage. If anyone dies, they will be hanged upside down. Right, Minister?"

The minister said, "Let us announce it today itself - until the pandits return from Kashi, no one is allowed to die."

The minister added, "I will go make the announcement right now, Your Majesty."

Hearing the king's words, Pandit Kanaram lit up and said with folded hands, "Your Majesty, if you make such an order, people will think the pandits did this to avoid work."

The king said, "That's true."

Panditji said, "Even if you make the law, if some foolish person disobeys and dies, then who will prepare the firewood for their pyre?" 

The king said, "You're right. That would be a big problem. But then what should we do?" Panditji said, "There is one solution." The king asked, "What is it?" Panditji said, "Make another law."

The king said, "Of course! We are here to make laws, right Minister?" The minister said, "Absolutely, Your Majesty. Tell us what law to make. Shall we make one that no one ever dies again?" The king said, "Yes! Ban death in our kingdom. Announce it today!"

Pandit Kanaram said, "Your Majesty, I have another suggestion. Listen."

Kanaram said, "We pandits are going on pilgrimage. But we are not made of stone. Those who want to die - we will prepare their pyres today itself and then go."

The king said, "Wow! The pandits in our land are so wise."

Kanaram said, "Your Majesty, make a law: whoever wants to die in the next six months must do so today - so that the pandits can complete their duty and then go."

The king said, "Bravo! Excellent idea. Right, Minister?"

The minister said, "It truly is smart. If people keep dying one after another, it wastes time."

The king said, "Then make the law: pandits are going on pilgrimage - so those who want to die must do so today."

The minister said, "I will announce it right now."

Gabuji announced throughout the city: "Anyone planning to die must do so today. Otherwise, it will not be accepted later."

The king made the law, but who would obey such a law?

No one died.

The next day, Kanaram came back with the pandits and said, "Your Majesty, we waited all day preparing the pyres, but no one died."

The king said, "What? Such insult to my law?"

Gabuji said, "Your Majesty, I did announce it properly. But no one is obeying. What should we do now?" Habuji said, "This is not acceptable! Make another law - everyone who didn't die yesterday must pay two hundred gold coins as fine."

Pandit Kanaram folded his hands and said, "Your Majesty, we pandits waited all day and followed your law. So we deserve a reward."

Habuji said, "Yes, you're right. Gabuji, give each pandit one hundred gold coins as a reward."

Kanaram said, "Your Majesty, now please make one more law."

Habuji said, "Of course! Making laws is our left-hand game, right Minister?"

Gabuji said, "True! Not just the left hand - it's like a snap of our little finger. Want me to announce it right now?" Kanaram said, "Make a rule that all who did not die yesterday because of your law will not go to heaven." The king said, "Done. From now on, those who didn't die yesterday are banned from going to heaven."

Kanaram said, "That's not enough. Someone sneaky might still sneak into heaven. Instead, make a law that from now on, pandits will not prepare any funeral pyres. If no pyres made by pandit, then how will they reach heaven?" The king said, "Wow Panditji! Amazing! Minister, announce it now: from this moment on, no pandit will prepare a funeral pyre. If any pandit is caught doing so, he'll be tied to a cannon and fired away!"

Gabuji made the announcement. Pandit Kanaram was praised. The pandits were free from their suffering and celebrated with feasts for fifty-seven days straight!

And from that day on, the pandits of Andhernagar lived in complete peace and joy.